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A Bit About LaZoom

Jim and Jen Lauzon

LaZoom Comedy Tours are owned and operated locally by founders Jim and Jen Lauzon, who were just a pair of crazy-in-love street performers until they found their first bus, colored it purple and pursued their wacky dream. At first, it was just Jim and Jen (and a driver), writing the scripts and playing all the roles. (Jim’s character, Sister Bad Habit, is such a significant, well-known figure on the Asheville scene, there’s even a locally brewed beer named after her!) Now in its ninth year of operation, LaZoom has grown to encompass three buses, four drivers, one director, eight on- and off-bus guides, and more nuns than you can shake a ruler at! But LaZoom is still Jim and Jen’s baby, and we’re all family here. Get on the bus and experience the fun for yourself!

 

Haunted Comedy Tour Guides & Sidekicks

Ghoulish Gary

They say that a ghoul is an evil spirit that robs graves and feeds on dead bodies, but Ghoulish Gary would rather feast on the remains left in the dumpsters of 12 Bones BBQ. When he hasn’t had his fill of ribs, he can get a bit wild. You see, back when he was among the living, he was quite a talented entertainer and community celebrity. So now, in his ghostly state, Gary loves to get attention.

His loud outbursts and psychopathic observations can be a bit unexpected for folks passing by the bus, and even for a few on the bus! But deep down in Gary’s soul, or at least where his soul used to be, he has a happy and cheerful way of being among the living. He just forgets that he’s not one of us.

We’d strongly recommend that you not remind him of his unearthly state, he’s liable to do something no man woman or child should ever see… He might break down and sing “Swing Low” as he droops his head and passes through the seats (and passengers) on the bus. Not to worry though, Gary is an eternal optimist and would be back to serve up a few stories of his deceased friends and their exploits in Asheville.

Ghoulish Gary

They say that a ghoul is an evil spirit that robs graves and feeds on dead bodies, but Ghoulish Gary would rather feast on the remains left in the dumpsters of 12 Bones BBQ. When he hasn’t had his fill of ribs, he can get a bit wild. You see, back when he was among the living, he was quite a talented entertainer and community celebrity. So now, in his ghostly state, Gary loves to get attention.

His loud outbursts and psychopathic observations can be a bit unexpected for folks passing by the bus, and even for a few on the bus! But deep down in Gary’s soul, or at least where his soul used to be, he has a happy and cheerful way of being among the living. He just forgets that he’s not one of us.

We’d strongly recommend that you not remind him of his unearthly state, he’s liable to do something no man woman or child should ever see… He might break down and sing “Swing Low” as he droops his head and passes through the seats (and passengers) on the bus. Not to worry though, Gary is an eternal optimist and would be back to serve up a few stories of his deceased friends and their exploits in Asheville.

Dr. Vladmir Cutupandropoff XIV

Dr. Cutupandropoff, arrived in Asheville decades ago from the Soviet Socialist Republic of Romania. He was a young fresh faced student of Cadaverology, Cybernetic-psychology, the Dark Arts and Interior Design. Vlad had planned to follow his nefarious and color coordinated pursuits into creating a robotic autopsy dance club for necrophiliacs, but it was not to be.

He became intertwined with the spirits that haunt Asheville and is cursed to ride the LaZoom bus until all of the evil specters of the city have been thwarted. Also he enjoys clogging.

Dr. Vladmir Cutupandropoff XIV

Dr. Cutupandropoff, arrived in Asheville decades ago from the Soviet Socialist Republic of Romania. He was a young fresh faced student of Cadaverology, Cybernetic-psychology, the Dark Arts and Interior Design. Vlad had planned to follow his nefarious and color coordinated pursuits into creating a robotic autopsy dance club for necrophiliacs, but it was not to be.

He became intertwined with the spirits that haunt Asheville and is cursed to ride the LaZoom bus until all of the evil specters of the city have been thwarted. Also he enjoys clogging.

Thomas Wolfeman

This man, uh, werewolf, has the blood of a writer running through his veins. Mostly because he bit Thomas Wolfe the author back in the day, or should we say night. It seems that the blood of such a great story teller transformed this run-of-the-mill werewolf into an intellectual, book reading, wine drinking sophisticate that is “Thomas Wolfeman!”

You’re sure to see him around town when the moon is full. As a raconteur and wolfeman about town, he’s known by all of the night walkers, goblins and ghouls as a real lady killer! Once a girl looks into his big puppy eyes, and they see his pointed grin, they fall madly in love with his torrid wit and wicked since of fashion. And the men all look at his hairy chest and bow down to his animal charm.

If you happen to cross paths with Thomas, be sure to inquire about his days in Asheville and how they compare with his nights of late.

Thomas Wolfeman

This man, uh, werewolf, has the blood of a writer running through his veins. Mostly because he bit Thomas Wolfe the author back in the day, or should we say night. It seems that the blood of such a great story teller transformed this run-of-the-mill werewolf into an intellectual, book reading, wine drinking sophisticate that is “Thomas Wolfeman!”

You’re sure to see him around town when the moon is full. As a raconteur and wolfeman about town, he’s known by all of the night walkers, goblins and ghouls as a real lady killer! Once a girl looks into his big puppy eyes, and they see his pointed grin, they fall madly in love with his torrid wit and wicked since of fashion. And the men all look at his hairy chest and bow down to his animal charm.

If you happen to cross paths with Thomas, be sure to inquire about his days in Asheville and how they compare with his nights of late.

Kids’ Tour Guides & Sidekicks

Stupendous Stu

Stupendous Stu is working hard on getting his magician’s license the only way he knows how, by riding a purple bus across town Asheville, performing his mediocre to amazing magic tricks! His mentor, Professor Amazepants, told Stu that practice makes perfect, but more importantly, to never give up and to follow your dreams. Stu’s wild energy, passion for all things hot-dog related and complete knowledge of Asheville is guaranteed to satisfy and enthrall kids of any age! Even big kids! Like, 40 year olds!

Stupendous Stu

Stupendous Stu is working hard on getting his magician’s license the only way he knows how, by riding a purple bus across town Asheville, performing his mediocre to amazing magic tricks! His mentor, Professor Amazepants, told Stu that practice makes perfect, but more importantly, to never give up and to follow your dreams. Stu’s wild energy, passion for all things hot-dog related and complete knowledge of Asheville is guaranteed to satisfy and enthrall kids of any age! Even big kids! Like, 40 year olds!

Maya the Mystifier

Meet the magical, marvelous, m-absolutely m-fabulous (we ran out of m words, okay?) Maya the Mystifier!!
 
Coming to us all the way from Italy, Maya is a student of the Wizard Exchange Program at the world-famous Asheville School of Mystery and Pretzel-Making. (It sounds weird, but if you think about it…pretzels are a pretty mysterious food.) She’s studying to become a magician, and spends her days off from class practicing her tricks for the coolest kids in town on LaZOOM’s big purple bus. You know what they say, practice makes perfect! Climb aboard to explore Maya’s favorite new city and make some friends along the way! And, if you ask nicely, she might know where we could get some free pretzels, too…or at least some free broccoli.

Maya the Mystifier

Meet the magical, marvelous, m-absolutely m-fabulous (we ran out of m words, okay?) Maya the Mystifier!!
 
Coming to us all the way from Italy, Maya is a student of the Wizard Exchange Program at the world-famous Asheville School of Mystery and Pretzel-Making. (It sounds weird, but if you think about it…pretzels are a pretty mysterious food.) She’s studying to become a magician, and spends her days off from class practicing her tricks for the coolest kids in town on LaZOOM’s big purple bus. You know what they say, practice makes perfect! Climb aboard to explore Maya’s favorite new city and make some friends along the way! And, if you ask nicely, she might know where we could get some free pretzels, too…or at least some free broccoli.

Band & Beer Tour Guides

David Carmona

A born party rocker, David traveled the nation for years in search of the ultimate groove… he found said groove on many dance floors… and ultimately learning that paradise is a state of mind rather than a location. After landing in WNC in 2000, he has been sharing his paradise state of mind and groove with the humans ever since. With the help of various talented musicians on a purple bus, he has found his niche. Come out to party with his dream team!

David Carmona

A born party rocker, David traveled the nation for years in search of the ultimate groove… he found said groove on many dance floors… and ultimately learning that paradise is a state of mind rather than a location. After landing in WNC in 2000, he has been sharing his paradise state of mind and groove with the humans ever since. With the help of various talented musicians on a purple bus, he has found his niche. Come out to party with his dream team!

Scott Yerkey

Scott was raised by a family of escaped circus bears before realizing that a human standing on a ball, or riding a bike, just isn’t that lucrative. So he left his adopted family and hit the road. His first paying  job at the ripe old age of 13 was as a clown (Patches). He went to clown school and everything! Even though the clown shoes were hung years ago, he continues to spread laughter and joy as a part of his life’s mission.

Scott Yerkey

Scott was raised by a family of escaped circus bears before realizing that a human standing on a ball, or riding a bike, just isn’t that lucrative. So he left his adopted family and hit the road. His first paying  job at the ripe old age of 13 was as a clown (Patches). He went to clown school and everything! Even though the clown shoes were hung years ago, he continues to spread laughter and joy as a part of his life’s mission.

Andrew

Andrew Fletcher has lived in the mountains of Western North Carolina since 1995 and in Asheville for the past 10 years. After an early background in theater, he found his true passion as a full time professional jazz pianist in 2010. He has performed with many well known Asheville acts such as the high octane traditional jazz party ensemble Firecracker Jazz Band and the original future space groove rock band Hank West & The Smokin’ Hots. You can easily spot him on a Band & Beer Tour with his signature red hat and dance moves inspired by Elaine Benes. Ask him where the good shows are at in town after your tour!

Andrew

Andrew Fletcher has lived in the mountains of Western North Carolina since 1995 and in Asheville for the past 10 years. After an early background in theater, he found his true passion as a full time professional jazz pianist in 2010. He has performed with many well known Asheville acts such as the high octane traditional jazz party ensemble Firecracker Jazz Band and the original future space groove rock band Hank West & The Smokin’ Hots. You can easily spot him on a Band & Beer Tour with his signature red hat and dance moves inspired by Elaine Benes. Ask him where the good shows are at in town after your tour!

Skelton Coldfinger

As the tale goes, Skelton Coldfinger was one of Asheville’s original lamplighters. One day, as he was up at the tippy top of one of these lamps cleaning the glass housing, he caught a whiff of a smell… it was a sweet, almost perfume-like smell. Dipping his rag into the Clempton Brothers whale oil, he took a sniff. First he sniffed it with his nose, THEN HE SNIFFED IT WITH HIS LUNGS!!! It made him feel different, and he liked the way it made me feel. As he looked around, things started to change. People’s faces began to change, their teeth began to elongate, their eyes started to bulge and recess, their limbs twisted and shook, suddenly their voices became shrill chirps and squeals. He couldn’t take it anymore! He ran around town, climbing up every lamppost to bust out all the lights, returning this city to proper darkness. He then stood on a curb, took one valiant huff of his rag, stepped out into the dark street and was crushed by a carriage.