Augusta Wind is hoping to blow some facts and some fun your way as she invites you into her living room, complete with gold fans and a chauffeur. She loves to tell stories of Asheville’s wackadoodle history as much as she loves to talk about her children, Epidural and Lidocaine. Augusta wants to share all the love she has to give. From the bottom of her heart; you know, that padded area.
Bud Inski needs you to LaZoom. Literally born on the bus, he was found by tourists and raised as one of their own. Like Mowgli or Tarzan before him, Bud Inski learned the secrets of his special group of adoptive parents and became Asheville’s Native Tourist. He learned everything he knows about Asheville from visitors and the chatty people at The Waffle House. Every new batch of LaZoomers is a new batch of relatives to Bud. He must please you! Bud needs you to LaZoom!
Asheville may have been called, and may call itself, the “Cesspool of Sin,” but it’s also a deeply spiritual and religious community. (We didn’t name a stretch of I-240 the “Billy Graham Highway” for nothing!) LaZoom, which revels in all things Asheville, is lucky enough to have been adopted by a renegade group of scooter nuns. So don’t be surprised to see a holy water pistol-toting nun on a tall bike, or to have the City Tour bus boarded by Sister Bad Habit, Sister Sauerkraut, Sister Oo La La, Sister Harry Mary, Sister Mary Ravioli, Sister Deeee Licious, or Sister Bertha Better-Than-You. And if you’re riding the Haunted Tour, keep an eye out for Black Abby! (Hint: she’s a ghost!)
DR. VLADMIR CUTUPANDROPOFF XIV
Dr. Cutupandropoff, arrived in Asheville decades ago from the Soviet Socialist Republic of Romania. He was a young fresh faced student of Cadaverology, Cybernetic-psychology, the Dark Arts and Interior Design. He had planned to follow his nefarious and color coordinated pursuits into creating a robotic autopsy dance club for necrophiliacs, but it was not to be. He became intertwined with the spirits that haunt Asheville and is cursed to ride the LaZoom bus until all of the evil specters of the city have been thwarted. Also he enjoys clogging.