Anita Valium

Anita thinks laughter is the best medicine. But she wonders, why stop there? She is SO excited to show you around Asheville, a place where she, and her insurance card, have been accepted. She moved here about six months ago from Clam Falls, Minnesota – so she’s a local.

Come take a trip with Anita Valium! It’ll be the (child-proof) cap to your Asheville Rx-perience!

Rhonda Corner

Rhonda is a real Italian tour guide, melted in Asheville like a mozzarella ball! Rhonda is a proud descendant of one of the craftsmen who came to work on the Biltmore Estate, at the end of the nineteenth century. Some years ago she finally decided to come check the place out: Capo d’opera!! (A masterpiece!)

Once in the Land of the Sky, she met a clarinet player who lured her into living in a tiny home (the real deal! 120 square feet!) and there she was…Rhonda, a very hairy man, a very fuzzy cat, 4 fluffy baby chicks and an exhausted vacuum cleaner. There was no other escape than to take advantage of her background in history and jump on the bus!

Spend some time with Rhonda, and you will believe you were in Vienna for a bit… or not!

Earlene Hooch

Earlene is a native of Asheville and comes to you straight from the Biltmore Estate…Trailer Park. She has four kids she just adores. When not working at LaZoom, she is very active with her chillren’s PTO programs at school and is a super volunteer mom.

Her hobbies include crocheting, raising chinchillers and chillren, and working on her 1986 bronze Firebird (it’s a beauty). She also enjoys spending time with her nephew Hummus and her niece Pita.

Bud Inski

Bud Inski needs you to LaZoom. Literally born on the bus, he was found by tourists and raised as one of their own. Like Mowgli or Tarzan before him, Bud Inski learned the secrets of his special group of adoptive parents and became Asheville’s Native Tourist. He learned everything he knows about Asheville from visitors and the chatty people at The Waffle House.

Every new batch of LaZoomers is a new batch of relatives to Bud. He must please you! Bud needs you to LaZoom!

Buster Guy (Your Bus Tour Guide)

Broadway or Buster (A Buster Guy Story): Buster comes from Asheville. Born with an ungodly gift for dancing, singing, and acting, growing up as a triple threat was never easy. When he turned 12, his parents ran away to join the circus. So Buster was raised by his grandparents, the famous performing Chestinbunns. Buster’s grandmother beat Ginger Rogers in a dance contest and his grandfather sang with Tony Bennett and Bob Hope; hence, Buster’s dream of one day playing Broadway.

He started his own unicycle tours of Kenilworth and Haw Creek at age 15. While he juggled tours, juggled auditions, and just plain juggled, LaZoom took notice of his superhuman abilities and asked him to join their crew. Buster accepted, since the LaZoom bus runs on Broadway…Asheville’s Broadway.


Asheville may have been called, and may call itself, the “Cesspool of Sin,” but it’s also a deeply spiritual and religious community. (We didn’t name a stretch of I-240 the “Billy Graham Highway” for nothing!) LaZoom, which revels in all things Asheville, is lucky enough to have been adopted by a renegade group of scooter nuns.

So don’t be surprised to see a holy water pistol-toting nun on a tall bike, or to have the City Tour bus boarded by Sister Bad Habit, Sister Sauerkraut, Sister Oo La La, Sister Harry Mary, Sister Mary Ravioli, Sister Deeee Licious, or Sister Bertha Better-Than-You. And if you’re riding the Haunted Tour, keep an eye out for Black Abby! (Hint: she’s a ghost!)



They say that a ghoul is an evil spirit that robs graves and feeds on dead bodies, but Ghoulish Gary would rather feast on the remains left in the dumpsters of 12 Bones BBQ. When he hasn’t had his fill of ribs, he can get a bit wild. You see, back when he was among the living, he was quite a talented entertainer and community celebrity. So now, in his ghostly state, Gary loves to get attention.

His loud outbursts and psychopathic observations can be a bit unexpected for folks passing by the bus, and even for a few on the bus! But deep down in Gary’s soul, or at least where his soul used to be, he has a happy and cheerful way of being among the living. He just forgets that he’s not one of us.

We’d strongly recommend that you not remind him of his unearthly state, he’s liable to do something no man woman or child should ever see… He might break down and sing “Swing Low” as he droops his head and passes through the seats (and passengers) on the bus. Not to worry though, Gary is an eternal optimist and would be back to serve up a few stories of his deceased friends and their exploits in Asheville.


Dr. Cutupandropoff, arrived in Asheville decades ago from the Soviet Socialist Republic of Romania. He was a young fresh faced student of Cadaverology, Cybernetic-psychology, the Dark Arts and Interior Design. Vlad had planned to follow his nefarious and color coordinated pursuits into creating a robotic autopsy dance club for necrophiliacs, but it was not to be.

He became intertwined with the spirits that haunt Asheville and is cursed to ride the LaZoom bus until all of the evil specters of the city have been thwarted. Also he enjoys clogging.


Her name just about sums it up. Hellena used to be one of Asheville’s most beautiful belles. She loved to stroll along the banks of the French Broad River after a night on the town. Unfortunately, she also tended to partake in the spirits at the local bars. One moon lit night she slipped into the gurgling waters and disappeared for more than three decades. Then one day, she crept out of the river (just downstream from our local treatment plant) and started roaming the town looking for a good time.

It seems that she was drawn to the lips on our bus, and the next thing we knew, she was a regular on our Haunted Tour. Sure, she’s a bit odd, but most folks say it has to do with the fact that the French Broad has so many interesting things in it… like the hemp-drenched sweat of the hippies who bathe in it, or the runoff from the old industrial sites around town.

What ever it is, it certainly makes Hellena a hand full. She’s full of spooky tales, juicy (and morbid) gossip and a ton of rotten jokes that are sure to turn the most evil snarl into a lively grin. See if you can get her to tell you what really happened to her while she was down under… We’d love to hear the real story!


This man, uh, werewolf, has the blood of a writer running through his veins. Mostly because he bit Thomas Wolfe the author back in the day, or should we say night. It seems that the blood of such a great story teller transformed this run-of-the-mill werewolf into an intellectual, book reading, wine drinking sophisticate that is “Thomas Wolfeman!”

You’re sure to see him around town when the moon is full. As a raconteur and wolfeman about town, he’s known by all of the night walkers, goblins and ghouls as a real lady killer! Once a girl looks into his big puppy eyes, and they see his pointed grin, they fall madly in love with his torrid wit and wicked since of fashion. And the men all look at his hairy chest and bow down to his animal charm.

If you happen to cross paths with Thomas, be sure to inquire about his days in Asheville and how they compare with his nights of late.

How we got started

LaZoom Comedy Tours are owned and operated locally by founders Jim and Jen Lauzon, who were just a pair of crazy-in-love street performers until they found their first bus, colored it purple and pursued their wacky dream. At first, it was just Jim and Jen (and a driver), writing the scripts and playing all the roles. (Jim’s character, Sister Bad Habit, is such a significant, well-known figure on the Asheville scene, there’s even a locally brewed beer named after her!) Now in its ninth year of operation, LaZoom has grown to encompass three buses, four drivers, one director, eight on- and off-bus guides, and more nuns than you can shake a ruler at! But LaZoom is still Jim and Jen’s baby, and we’re all family here. Get on the bus and experience the fun for yourself!

Beginning March 10th, all tours will depart from
76 Biltmore Ave.


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